Life of a Mary Sue
by DragonFang2011
Summary: Mary Sue... Admit it-we ALL have created at least one in our lives. Now, looking back at my MANY Mary Sues, I bust a gut laughing (or yelling) at myself. I haven't seen any Mary Sue parodies around here, so I thought I'd make one! Watch out, though! She's perfect, and she totally doesn't know it... YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Rated T for the language, and extreme weirdness and OOCness.


Ryuga: DragonFang2011 does not own Metal Fight Beyblade or any of the characters, only her OC and this story.

Me: Have any of you guys heard/read of the Harry Potter Fanfiction story My Immortal? It was deleted years ago, but I'm reading My Immortal: Repost. Can't get past Chapter 4! It was so horrible that i thank i los liek, haf mah brian clels? butt goud noos! i fink mah self ezteam gawt higer! T3T

Ryuga: So that's why this story's so crappy...

Me: i no rieht? *durr faec(

Kyoya: I read the first chapter in a dare *glares at me* and almost died. But I guess we could thank that one author for re-posting that hellish story. If it wasn't for Tara Gilesbie's trolling, I'd have gone on thinking that Fang's stories were the worst in the world.

Me: i liek, reznt thet! ;trol face* itz so paffetik its funneh8

Ryuga: Yeah. Those were some good laughs. Tara Gilesbie's my hero!

Gingka: My eyes hurt from all that eye-rolling I did because of her "goffik"-witch-vampire Mary Sue, Ebony/Enoby Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Yu's read the... um... "appropriate parts"... the ones that don't have S-E-X in them, and he's already given Ebony/Enoby a nickname.

Yu: "Miss I-Casually-Slit-My-Wrists-And-Drink-Human-Blood-Everyday!"

Me: se liek, cant evn ispel hur own charaktur's naem rieght!

Gingka: In this story, watch out for Mary Sue and lots of author's notes. It was inspired by the song, Life of a Mary Sue, from Youtube. Better check it out, guys. It's a great song! But DragonFang2011 doesn't own it.

Me: sadly.?

* * *

"3... 2... 1... Let it... RIP!"

_10 seconds later_

"No..." Gingka Hagane fell to his knees, staring at his Beyblade's fusion wheel, which was just barely sticking out of the stadium floor. "Big Bang Pegasus... no..." He clawed at the ground, trying to get his Bey out.

"Hey, it's okay. You just need more training," an angelic voice purred.

Gingka looked up an saw his opponent whip off her suspiciously large blue hat.

She was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. (A/N: And the horror movie begins.)

Rainbow colored hair fell to her knees in silky waves. Her body was like that of a model's. She was wearing a purple tank top that showed her flat stomach, a denim skirt so short that it should be illegal, glittery sneakers, and a glowing white crystal on a shimmering gold chain. Her skin sparkled in the sun like diamonds (or Edward Cullen), and her large eyes changed color every five seconds.

(A/N: You have no idea how much pain I'm in right now... )

She also had large, feathered golden wings sprouting from her back, pointed ears, and ten golden-furred fox tails. Somehow, she still retained her breathtaking beauty.

(A/N: All... for the sake... of writing...)

Everybody in the stands started cheering. Boys dumped their girlfriends and proposed to the drop-dead gorgeous girl. But she refused cutely, still somehow in a sexy pose that had the guys drooling.

"I've been looking for you for a long time, Gingka Hagane!" she said in that magnificent angel voice.

"You have?" Gingka asked dreamily.

"Yes!" Then, she slipped and fell in a very beautiful way. Strangely, Gingka was there to catch her. As she laid in his arms, sparkles floating around them, they stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like the longest time, their lips coming closer together.

Suddenly, Kyoya appeared. "This girl defeated me and my Leone this morning!" His eyes sparkling with love, he knelt before the amazing girl and took her hand. "What's your name, beautiful?"

She blushed cutely. "I'm not that beautiful," she said coyly.

(A/N: Ow...)

"Yes, you are!" Tsubasa yelled. He pushed his way to the front of the crowd, tore off his shirt, and started to dance. Tobio joined him as the speakers around them blasted "Sexy and I Know It," courtesy of the head-over-heels-in-love Blader DJ.

"My name is Mary Hoshina Star Grace Mei Lin Superior Amu Aphrodite Hermoine Bella Swan Ebony Sue," she announced dramatically, never even stopping for a breath. "But you may call me Mary Sue! And this is my Beyblade, Super Awesome Goddess Beauty Star VMIC95LBWFDE!"

(A/N: Help me!)

Everyone listened, except for the girls, like Madoka, Hikaru, Mei-Mei, Lera, Selen, Sophie, and Motti, who were jealous because Mary Sue was stealing Gingka, Kyoya, Chao Xin, Wales, Aleksei, Some Random Guy That Selen Likes, and Motti's crush, Bao.

"I can sing, dance, paint, draw, cook, clean, fix anything, make anything, and I'm the best blader evah!"

(A/N: Please...)

"I'm part vampire, part wizard, part dragon, part unicorn, part Ninetails, part elf, part fairy, part werewolf, part Phoenix, and I can talk to animals, I have lots of pet wolves and stuff, I can manipulate the elements, I have telekinesis, I'm a demigod descended from all twelve Olympians, so I have all of their powers and whatnot, and I'm immortal and everyone loves meh!"

(A/N: *gasps for air* ...)

The boys were drooling as she sang a beautiful song with her sexy voice, and she showed them all of her accomplishments.

"What an angelic voice!"

"Awesome dance moves!"

"Better than those other world-famous artists who have their work in museums!"

"Best... cake... EVER!"

"My Bey looks as good as new!"

"Check out these boots she made me in ten seconds!"

"Did you see her Special Moves?"

"MARRY ME, MARY SUE!"

"And I'm also Gingka's sister, Kyoya's sister, Rago's sister, Yu's sister, Tsubasa's sister, Kenta's sister, Hikaru's sister, Julian's sister, and Ryuga's sister!" Mary Sue said. "But since we're only slightly related, I could date the boys!" She flipped her stunning rainbow-colored hair.

Said boys were swooning.

(A/N: I'm gonna be sick. *cough* Turn back now... guys! It's... *cough* ... it's too late... *cough* ... for me! *cough* Save yourselves! Powers... *cough* ... fading... Oh, gosh... *cough* ... no...)

"And since I'm part Konzern, I'm like, super filthy rich! And since I've saved the world, like, a bajillion times, I have the power to bring people to life, and I swam in the River Styx and gained invincibility. It was so painful! I also beat Rago, by the way, then threw him into jail!" She was sobbing by the last sentence. "I need a hug!"

Everyone rushed to hug her, except for the girls.

Ryuga appeared.

"I love you!" he announced when he saw Mary Sue. "Marry me, whatever-your-name-is! You're so kawaii desu!"

(A/N: Someone put me out of my misery! *sob*)

"I'm Mary Hoshina Star Grace Mei—"

"Shut up!" Selen snapped. "I hate you!"

"I'm so hurt!" Mary Sue burst into tears—and still managed to look stunning—and started to run, only to trip and fall beautifully into Tsubasa's arms. "Oh, Tsubasa! Thank you! You saved my life! But please put a shirt on! I'm so shy around boys who don't wear shirts!" She put a hand on her heart, looking up at him with sad, striking eyes.

"SOMEONE KILL HER!" Hikaru screamed. She stabbed Mary Sue in the heart with a wooden stake, 'cuz Mary Sue's part vampire, n' stuff...

(A/N: YES! THANK YOU HIKARU!)

The guys were heartbroken.

(A/N: *happy dance*)

"How dare you!" Gingka yelled.

"I loved her!" Ryuga cried, bursting into tears.

Suddenly, Mary Sue came back to life, without any blood on her. "I'm back!" she said sexily.

"YAY!" the boys yelled.

"NO!" the girls yelled.

(A/N: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *kills myself*)

* * *

If you laughed your butt off, I'm gonna bow... Thank you, thank you!

But if your eyes have vaporized, I'm so incredibly sorry! *kills Mary Sue again*

Mary Sue: *comes back to life* Why'd you kill me, Fang? *sobs beautifully* I'm too beautiful to die! *kawaii eyes*

Me: JUST F*CKING DIE ALREADY! EVEN ROGER'S DROOLING, AND HE'S NOT EVEN FROM THIS UNIVERSE!

Kyoya, Ryuga, and Roger: *staring at Mary Sue*

Me: GAH! *throws Mary Sue into a tiny, air-proof adamantium crate, locks it, seals it with magical, unbreakable Fanfiction tape, throws the key into a furnace, and hurls the crate into an endless pit* GO TO TARTARUS, B*ITCH!

Kyoya: Why'd you do that?

Ryuga: That's so mean, Fang! She's so kawaii desu!

Roger: *growls* I've sharpened a stick at both ends for you... (Translation: I'm gonna mount your head on a stick)

Me: *slaps them*

Boys: What happened?

Hikaru: Don't ask.

Mary Sue: *appears* Hi! I'll accept your marriage proposals now!

Boys: Ew...

Roger: I'm like, twelve...

Mary Sue: I'll still marry you!

Boys: Pedo...

Hikaru: *takes out several weapons* Who wants a shot at this b*itch?

Everyone: *forms a line*

Ryuga: ... Did I really say kawaii desu?

Me: Three times, including now.


End file.
